Safety in self-knowledge – part 2

What is a ‘baseline’? 

You may be wondering what a ‘baseline’ means for you. Well, it’s a personal and individual thing for everyone as each person’s baseline will be unique and individual to them. But to perhaps give you a starting point I will share my own wellness ‘baseline’, (hope it helps!).

  1. For a start, I’m extremely mentally fast and talkative, even when well. It’s just a case of striking the balance between this and unhealthy, racing, thoughts.
  2. I’m productive. You may have noticed that my productiveness peaks and troughs where my blogging is concerned, meaning that I can be unreliable when unwell. The same is true of many areas of my life.
  3. I’m a supportive partner/family member and friend. For example, due to not being well, I ended a serious relationship, have caused family and friends a lot of pain and misery and have only just met my niece, who was born earlier this year.

It breaks my heart when I’m well, the destruction I can cause when I don’t recognise the difference between me and the illness. At the moment, people who I love deeply, think that I don’t care about them, when actually the opposite is true.

Those without a mental illness may think that I’m making excuses, but I’m heartbroken by poorly made decisions.

4. I have certain hobbies and interests that I keep up-to-date with when I’m well too. These include creative writing, blogging, scrapbooking/cardmaking, reading and spending time on social media, especially Twitter.

Before I got ill most recently, I had applied and received an unconditional offer to study the second year of a creative writing degree. I was writing a lot, even entering competitions, and reading widely. I was starting to feel really excited about the future.

Since I got ill, my concentration has been impaired. I’ve become a recluse, including from social media and my blogs, I have had to defer my university place, and it is only this week that I’ve been able to produce writing of any kind (probably why there’s such an outpouring now).

My usual qualities when well are that I am reliable, safe. I have good, or at least OK, awareness of myself, and those around me. I’m usually the cautious one of my friends, one of the first to perceive risks. In fact I can be a bit of a nag about staying safe.

When I’m ill, I often surround myself with the wrong people, and isolate myself from those that I should be trusting. Even those who have never done this, will know that no-one in their right mind pushes away the people that they love, to surround themselves with bad influences.

If any of this sets off alarm bells, either about yourself or someone else, then please seek help or encourage them to seek help. Whether it’s a helpline, doctor or social services, please reach out if you are acting out of character, especially if it is putting you at risk.

If you would like to add your thoughts about this post, please feel free to comment below, search for the Brokenglassshimmers Facebook page, or add me on Twitter @spursbythebeach. I look forward to hearing from you 🙂

Please drop by tomorrow for the last in this 3-part series on safety in self-knowledge. If you missed the first part then the link is here : http://brokenglassshimmers.org/2015/10/22/safety-in-self-knowledge-part-1/

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About brokenglassshimmers

I’m 30 and have BPD and arthritis. This website will detail how I deal with my health issues, reading and writing. I am in the process of writing books and I will keep you posted about how that is going. I also want to run an online book club and writer’s circle. Please feel free to comment on the site and to let me know if there are any improvements or changes you would like to see. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

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