Safety in self-knowledge – part 3

This is the last in a 3-part series I’ve written this week about safety in self-knowledge. If you would like to read the previous posts then the link to the first post is here: http://brokenglassshimmers.org/2015/10/22/safety-in-self-knowledge-part-1/ and you will also find the second post on the site (I’m scheduling posts ahead of time so I don’t have a link yet. I will update Twitter and Facebook when I do).

How do I figure out my own ‘baseline’ ? 

First of all, think about who you are when you are being completely honest with yourself. That could mean keeping a diary, listening to music, considering your hobbies – even those that you are not following right at this moment.

Who can help?

In your heart of hearts you will probably know best, especially when well. But, if you would like some input, choose wisely. Ideally people you have known for sometime, who either, you are in a give and take, or professional relationship with. Examples could be your best friend who has known you for many years, or a social worker who sees you on a regular basis. These are just examples though.

A tale of two nights in crisis

A few months ago, I didn’t even begin to recognise who I was anymore. A number of emotionally disturbing events occurred and i launched, blindly, into a downward spiral that only recently did I begin to see a way out of. I attempted suicide, pushed away those I love, and made countless other mistakes. Recently though, I had a different experience.

I was in crisis again, ready to follow the same old pattern of self-destruct, but I actually trusted my instincts. I sought help at a slightly earlier stage and, although still distressed, listened to trustworthy advice, and managed to stay safe.

I want to make this very clear. These few good nights do not make me a pro at dealing with mental illness. If you are feeling unsafe, if something I have said has resonated with you, then contact someone safe. Whether it’s a helpline such as the Samaritans, a local mental health team, a doctor or a loved one who has your best interests at heart.

My battle is just beginning. There will be difficult days and less difficult days, but what helps on all of these days are 3 things:

  1. Seeking safety.
  2. Knowing yourself.
  3. Holding on tightly to even the smallest shred of hope that you can find.

I really hope that this series helps. If you’ve read to the end, thank you for sticking with me and I’d love to hear what you think, either in the comments section below, or, for an even faster response usually, my Twitter account @spursbythebeach. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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About brokenglassshimmers

I’m 30 and have BPD and arthritis. This website will detail how I deal with my health issues, reading and writing. I am in the process of writing books and I will keep you posted about how that is going. I also want to run an online book club and writer’s circle. Please feel free to comment on the site and to let me know if there are any improvements or changes you would like to see. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

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