How I cope on a daily basis…inspiration that keeps me focussed.

There are times I consider giving up on blogging. I don’t have a huge audience, I’m not sure if I’m any good. The same applies to art, I have been strongly considering declining to attend the group interview that I’ve been invited to for the foundation degree. And finally the same applies to my weight loss. This week my bad attitudes have been called into question after hearing from some incredibly inspiring people. 

Blogging

Firstly, the blogging. I love it, it’s a passion of mine as well as a creative outlet. It helps me to stay safe as I learn to express myself better. But my followers are few and far between (thank you to those who have stuck by me I would be interested to know more of your thoughts about the blog-what you like/dislike, would like to see more/less of. Anyway, I hardly ever get comments on what I’ve written so yesterday when a blogger who I admire hugely http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/ left a comment, it really meant a lot to me, especially considering how positive it was:

britishbeautyblogger 8:06 pm on April 9, 2014Permalink | Reply | Edit

Can I just say I think your writing is so good – you have such a natural way of speaking through your writing that your posts feel like letters. You’ve got a beautiful attention to detail as well that makes what you are saying really come to life. xx

https://brokenglassshimmers.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/stability-checklist-treatments/ 

Not just numbers

It was the first time that I began to believe that maybe I can achieve my dream of having a successful blog/s, of reaching out to others and creating something meaningful. It also made me realise that blogging isn’t just about numbers it’s about whether what you write has an affect on the people who read it. So that left me feeling very inspired. 

Art college

Art college was another area where I just thought, ‘Can’t do it, I’ll just end up embarrassing myself. I spent ages working on the project set for me by a tutor at the college and was going to just back out when I found out that to attempt to get in, I’d have to face a group interview. Argh!! 

Then I heard the story of http://thedebseffect.weebly.com/ who started Art later in life as a way of expressing herself therapeutically and now produces amazing pieces of work. She also has Bipolar disorder but has been med free for 15 months. She is a very inspiring, kind, encouraging lady. 

After hearing how she managed to start with next to no skill and improved the more she practiced it made me more determined to at least try to get on the course. Those few days when I was working on the project I felt as though I expressed myself better than at any other time in my life. 

I decided to be brave and posted pictures of my sculptures and drawings of them on Twitter and 2 people favourited them! 

They may have just been being kind but they’re not the first to respond positively to the work I’ve done. I’m still terrified of what the interview will be like, expecting to stand out like a sore thumb as more talented artists take centre stage. But I’m going to try. At least if I do that I won’t look back and wonder ‘what if?’

Weight loss

Finally I come to my weight loss. I was so negative about the thought of me losing any weight that I could hardly look at the scales today. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that I’ve lost 11lbs in 3 weeks! For that I have to thank Slimming World. For introducing a slimming plan that is easy to stick to, group encouragement and a fantastic group leader. https://www.slimmingworld.com/login/default.aspx?returnurl=/ I’ve started to believe that I could reach my goal of 5 stone by the end of the year-very ambitious I know. If you want to follow my weight loss journey in more detail check out http://only5stone2go.wordpress.com 

This week

What this week has taught me is to stop being so hard on myself, to stop expecting negatives/failure, to accept encouragement/compliments and to never give up, even if my dreams don’t come true straightaway. Mental illness distorts your self-worth and leaves you believing that the world is a dark and dangerous place full of opportunities to be hurt/let down. When you begin to challenge that belief system you will notice a hugely positive impact on your life. 

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About brokenglassshimmers

I’m 30 and have BPD and arthritis. This website will detail how I deal with my health issues, reading and writing. I am in the process of writing books and I will keep you posted about how that is going. I also want to run an online book club and writer’s circle. Please feel free to comment on the site and to let me know if there are any improvements or changes you would like to see. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

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